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Gym, tan, laundry might work for single dudes, but for moms we get to add in a few extra steps to the cycle: Daycare, Gym, skip-the-tanning-it’s-bad-for-you, Shower, Work, Daycare, Dinner, Clean-pasta-sauce-off-all-surfaces, Bathtime, Bedtime, Laundry, Pay-the-Bills.

Rinse and repeat until subject is 18 or self-sufficient enough to manage his/her own transportation, nourishment, and personal hygiene.